FAQ’s & Resources

Frequently Asked Questions & Helpful Resources

I (or my spouse) is thinking about getting a divorce, how can I protect myself?

Be informed.  Understand the laws of the state which will govern your divorce, learn about the various process options available and take an inventory of your finances.  Before you take any specific action, ask yourself this question:  How would I feel if my spouse did this?  For more general information about divorce:

In Connecticut: https://www.jud.ct.gov/faq/family.htm#Divorce
In New York: http://ww2.nycourts.gov/divorce/info_faqs.shtml

My spouse is threatening to take our children away, can I lose custody?

No. Your parental rights are constitutionally protected. Only the state can terminate parental rights after years of proven child abuse or neglect.  In a divorce, there are only two issues regarding custody:  (1) how will you make decisions about your child’s education, healthcare and religion (legal custody) and (2) what schedule of parenting time will best meet your child’s emotional and developmental needs (residential custody).

How can I protect my children from the fall-out of divorce?

Make every effort to keep your children out of the middle of the divorce and reduce the conflict around custody issues.  There is overwhelming evidence that children are able to adjust to their parents’ divorce and transitioning between two households.  Negative outcomes for children are highest when correlated with the level of conflict between their parents.  To hear more about this from a Connecticut Family Court Judge, watch this video >

How much spousal support can I expect to pay/to receive?

It depends.  Connecticut does not have statutory guidelines for spousal support, called alimony.  Connecticut courts have discretion to award alimony based on multiple factors. Click on this link to learn what those factors are >

New York does have guidelines for spousal support, called maintenance.  To calculate maintenance, use this calculator >

How much child support can I expect to pay/to receive?

Child support is calculated based on the after-tax combined income of both parents.  To learn more about child support:

In Connecticut: https://www.jud.ct.gov/childsupport/faq_eng.htm or https://www.jud.ct.gov/Publications/ChildSupport/CSguidelines.pdf
In New York: http://ww2.nycourts.gov/divorce/MaintenanceChildSupportTools.shtml

How long does a divorce take?

You can be divorced as soon as you and your spouse have reached an agreement on all issues — how to divide your assets, the amount of spousal and/or child support, if any, and the parenting plan regarding custody of your minor children.  The level of conflict between you and your spouse will determine the length of your divorce process.

How much does a divorce cost?

Lawyers and other divorce professionals charge hourly for their time.  High conflict divorces are much more costly than those where the spouses remain focused on their futures.  Addressing the emotional issues of the divorce and its root causes with skilled mental health professionals greatly enhances your ability to reach an agreement with your spouse.  Expect $10-15,000 for mediation, $25,000-$50,000 for collaborative and $50,000-$500,000+ for a traditional divorce.